I heard through the TV-watcher’s grapevine that Arrested Development might be cancelled. The following are my arguments in favour of leaving the show on the air:
1. The show is named after me. Or at least my level of emotional maturity.
2. It’s really funny and clever and well-acted and all that. Seriously. It’s great. Plus, somewhere along the line Justin Bateman has become, well, oddly hot. This is NOT something I would have predicted when I was 12.
3. In order to convince you to keep the show on the air, I hereby swear I will make the ultimate statement of support. I will buy one of the products advertised during the show. (Please don’t start advertising only cars, because I don’t have the funds to buy a car at the moment. I’m not really a car person. But don’t worry, I’m still a desirable demographic. I spend money like a person who failed grade eight math. More than twice.
Note: You may want to advertise a few more horse-oriented products, such as stable blankets, cute paddock boots, etc. Or, if you don’t want to go with equestrian products, I will buy multiple boxes of Uncle Ben’s, which I think I saw on the show this evening. I will do this even though I prefer jasmine long grain rice. That’s how much I love this show.
Thank you for your time. I hope you find these arguments as fundamentally irrefutable and iron-clad as I do.