This is the first installment of the Rare Birds Advice Column, in which an assortment of  Lucky Bitches* answer your questions.

Hi Bitches,
Me and my friends like to party but sometimes I think I like to party even more than they do. How am I supposed to know if I have a problem?
Do  I or Don’t I?

Hi DIODI,
I can’t tell you if you have a problem or not, only you can decide that. What I can say is that if you are questioning your drinking there is a good chance that you DO have a problem.
From what I’ve experienced, social drinkers ie: ones who don’t live to party, don’t actually ask themselves if they have a drinking problem.

Good luck,
Ginger

Dear DIODI,
Maybe you are just going through an extreme party phase? Maybe you are chronically ill and are likely to die of alcohol poisoning in the middle of the night alone face down in a ditch somewhere?
The truth is only you can decide whether you have a problem  or not.
However, like Ginger said, if you think you have a problem, you probably do. Think of it this way: if you started breaking out in a rash, you’d go see a professional before it got so bad you couldn’t leave the house. It’s the same thing with addiction. For the love of god, go see someone before you’re too hideous to leave the house!!!
Good luck,
Huck

Dear Bitches,
I don’t think I’m an alcoholic or anything because a lot of the time I only have a few drinks. But sometimes I get really wasted and black out. Should I be concerned? My mom is.

Should I Be Concerned?

Dear SIBC,
Black out drinking was my specialty! I drank that way from the very first time I got drunk. Then it changed to not knowing when I would black out: After the third drink? After the first?

All I know is that EVERY time I blacked out/drank I put myself in harm’s way. In other words, I would be doing/saying/acting/behaving in ways or situations that I would not have done if I was sober.
I always hated the morning-after-the-night-before flood of phone calls of my friends reporting what feats of deathly embarrassing crap I had done at the party/dance/concert/7-11.

So ended up on “high alert” and made those phone calls myself the next morning to try and throw my friends off the scent.

The fact that your mom is concerned actually concerns me. Please try one of the many questionnaires available online (links below) and answer them honestly.
When other people, friends, family, the guy at 7-11 start noticing and/or being concerned about your drinking that is a sign that perhaps there’s a problem.

Sincerely,
Ginger, Reformed Black Out Drinker Extraordinare

*Lucky Bitches is a social club composed of women of all ages who are clean and sober and unusually awesome. The club uniform consists of hats.

For Those Who Enjoy a Good Quiz (Also Known As Finally, A Test I Can Pass!)

Addiction and Recovery Self-Test

More Tests!

A Little Something for the Druggy Pantsers

June 7 at 7:30?

I invite you to join me at the Vancouver Public Library, 350 West Georgia St., Alice MacKay Room (downstairs) for a reading and talk about Nice Recovery.

Is giving me rage attacks. Seriously. Not only are they responsible for the current catastrophe, they are angling to start drilling elsewhere with fewer regulations. Absolutely sickening. I’d like to see all their top people, including their lobbyists, in jail.

Thank you. I needed to get that off my chest.

Now I will get back to trying to come up with new titles for Republic of Dirt.

Hola!

I am home from the wars. Well, the White Pine tour, anyway. And I have much, much to talk about.

First, this blog (can one call it a blog if it’s hosted by WordPress rather than Blogger?) will be undergoing renovations over the next little while. It may catch fire or collapse in a jumble of comments and muffled cries while that’s happening. I encourage you to look away.

As noted in the last blog, the Lucky Bitches advice column is almost ready to roll. Keep those questions coming!

Now, onto some of the updates. I would have to say that one of the best parts of the White Pine ceremony for me, besides seeing so many writer friends and book people all in one place, was running into the Girls from Ottawa. These are students from Mother Teresa High School. They made a strong impression by writing, directing, acting in and producing an amazing book trailer for Getting the Girl. Then, after some serious fundraising, they paid for their trip from Ottawa to Toronto to the festival. Once they were in Toronto, I saw them everywhere. We were on the same plane! (I mean plane in the dimension way, not as in the mode of transportation way). On the street! In the train station. Kindred spirits.

Other highlights: going to Belleville with White Pine winner, Pam Bustin, Honour book title holder, Lesley Livingston, and fabulous debut novelist (and seriously adorable) Courtney Summers. All three of them were greeted by their fans with something close to worship. It was fun to see.

And because this post has no real order or logic, and so is a good reflection of my current mental state, I’m pleased to announce that Nice Recovery has made it onto several non-fiction bestseller lists. On that subject, I’d like to thank all the people who’ve talked to me after readings and shared a little bit about what’s going on for them. Every one of you makes me feel glad I wrote the book.

Thanks also to all the people who had me over for dinner. At my editor, Lynne’s, we had one of the most delicious dinners ever. There was an olive course! Yes! At Ken Setterington’s, the magnificent Teresa Toten and I were served homemade key lime pie! Immediately, I felt like writing rhyming nonsense poetry.

Speaking of the Keys, thanks to the ever hilarious Meg Cabot for her shout out to Nice Recovery: http://www.megcabot.com/2010/05/cool-stuff-moms-and-you-will-like/

The love feeling is totally mutual.

Thanks to all the schools and librarians who hosted me and the Forest of Reading organizers and the winners! And Dynasty on Bloor for serving dim sum in the evening.

Okay, I have to go now. Renovations to blog, coming up with a new title for my new novel (due out next March), working on new manuscript, trying to figure out how to post the amazing book trailer by the Girls from Ottawa, getting the garden to look less like an abandoned lot in Brooklyn, all this and more awaits me.

xoxo

We’ve moved the blog from Blogger to Word Press and there are several kinks to be worked out. We’ll be up and running and blogging like mad in no time. In the meantime, if you live in the Toronto area, please note that Teresa Toten (most excellent of writers) and I will be giving a workshop May 11 at North York Central Library on working with young people and about our work. Ken Settington will be moderating. It’s a free event and will run from 2:00 – 4:00. Hope to see you there.

If you need to get in touch, please email me at: andfurthermore@shaw.ca.

Apologies for the haywire links!

xox