Hi all,

If it wasn’t great enough that I’m basking in the sunshine in glorious Jackson Hole, Wyoming with a group of avid writers in all stages of their careers, my editor just sent me the U.S. cover for The Woefield Poultry Collective.

The designers hit another one out of the park!
Cover day is like Christmas without all the overeating and guilt. Thank you Jeanette and Harper U.S. cover designers!

P.S. Please disregard the quotes. Ahem.

xoxo

Here’s our next installment of the Lucky Bitches Advice Column. Today’s advice-giver, on the sticky topic of meetings,  is Fluffy Sunshine. Part of her story is included in Chapter 21 of Nice Recovery. She knows what of she speaks.

Dear Bitches,
I am new in recovery. I’ve been clean and sober for almost two months but I’m really bored and lonely without my old friends. I tried those twelve step meetings but I sort of hate them. Okay, I really hate them. I’m afraid to get asked to share and everyone is really old.
Any advice to not have a sober life that sucks?

xoxoxo

Dear Newly Sober,
Congratulations on being sober for almost two months. That is a huge achievement! Wouldn’t it be nice to have some nice sober friends to share that with?
I am still not a huge fan of meetings, especially the ones with podiums, where you actually have to get up and look at people when you share, however, I know that most of the freedom that accompanies my sobriety is in those twelve step meetings. Everything I know about sobriety, I learned from attending meetings, working the steps and talking to other people who have sobered up before me (usually talking to them after a meeting.)
Not only that, a huge part of my recovery now is being able to help other young woman (like me and like you) who are coming into sobriety for the first time and are looking for someone to help guide them in their journey. I know for sure I am not going to meet these people sitting at home by myself feeling bored and alone.
That said, I want to emphasize the fact that I TOTALLY KNOW HOW YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW! I still have days where I feel bored and lonely, but the difference today is that I pick up the phone and call someone who is lovely and sober, and we get together for coffee, go for a walk, go to the mall, or go to a meeting – TOGETHER! I also belong to an all women’s group, and I go to that meeting every week, no matter what, even when I don’t want to, because I am saving my own life today, with the help of other sober women, who loved me until I could love myself.
The wonderful thing about sobriety is that I am no longer alone, unless I choose to be. Do yourself a huge favour, look for a women’s meeting or a young people’s meeting in your area and reach out. Seriously, it will change your life, and your sobriety!

(Note from Susan: I also refer you to David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest for perhaps the most insightful and vivid portrayal of twelve step meetings in all of fiction. Yes, the book’s a tome, but it’s also an extraordinary work of art that you can use for weightlifting when you finish reading it.)

Let us close our LB advice column with two quotes from the late, great DFW:

“The parts of me that used to think I was different or smarter or whatever, almost made me die.”

“It’s all very confusing. I think I’m very honest and candid, but I’m also proud of how honest and candid I am — so where does that put me?”

by the unbelievably talented Girls from Ottawa!

Getting the Girl Trailer

(For some reason I can’t seem to embed this video.)

How amazing is this? The acting! The music! The editing and writing! Hollywood: are you seeing this?? Sign these girls up for multi-picture deals now. (And while you’re at it, make a major motion picture out of Getting the Girl. And an action figure out of Sherman.)

Thank you Girls from Ottawa. See you at the premiere!

xox

First, some rambling.

About ten or twelve days ago the pinched nerve in my neck went crazy again. I’ve written about this before: the flames licking my shoulder, the throb of pain in my forearm, the dead wood feeling in my hand, the sleepless nights. I’m tempted to complain, but I keep seeing people with only one hand or only part of a hand. Seriously. I have seen at least six people who are truly hand-challenged. This really takes away from my ability to whinge about a pinched nerve. So I’ll stop before I get started. And I’ll head off to my chiropractic (gulp!) appointment later this morning.There will probably be people in the waiting room with broken bones jutting out and raw nerves flapping around and I’ll feel like a jerk for taking up valuable alternative modalities time.

Perspective, people. It’s all about perspective.

Other news, last week I had coffee with Vancouver Island’s newest publishing sensation. Chevy Stevens is the author of the soon-to-be-published Still Missing. It’s a psychological thriller set on the island. Stevens is absolutely delightful in person and it was fun to talk with her about book and about that pre-publication moment. There has been a ton of attention paid to her book and with good reason. Amazing plotting, great twist, engaging characters, plus a loyal dog! My kind of writer! She has been signed to write three books and I can’t wait to read what comes next.

Other news. The birds around here have been busy. They have, in fact, built several nests under our deck. See?

Those little lumps in between the joists (right word?) are nests. Too bad about the garage underneath! Also, I’ve laid a tarp over the deck so the babies won’t get wet when it rains, as it seems determined to do all summer. I look forward to massive quantities of bird poop, feathers and mayhem dripping down the front of our deck all season. Save time: call the health department now!

Finally, this is the season when teens drop off resumes for that all-important summer job. This brings me to the unsolicited advice part of the blog.

As I’ve mentioned from time to time, I’m a committed workaholic. I haven’t had fewer than two jobs since I was sixteen or so. My comfort level is somewhere between three and four. In other words, I know from getting jobs!

My mother was a very good trainer on the getting jobs front and I’d like to pass on some of what she learned me. Because of course, no one asked me and I’m bossy.

1.

When seeking employment by dropping off resumes, do not bring your friends along. Yesterday I saw two young women in the juice bar.They held suspicious-looking sheets of resume-ish paper in their hands.

“Are you hiring at all?” asked one.

“Like people to work here?” said the other.

You aren’t both going to get hired unless it’s at Playville or White Water Fun Times or some other place that requires volume in employees. Going job hunting with a friend suggests you don’t like to do things alone. And what happens on the job with people who can’t be alone? Their friends are at the place of work all the time, stinking the place up and getting in the way. These are the employees who ignore customers because they’re telling Jill and Kate what happened last night at the Amazing Party at Matt’s House. These are the employees who take personal calls when a person is just trying to buy a slice of pizza. For instance.

I’m not saying that if you drop off resumes by yourself you like being alone. You might end up having friends around all the time. But your boss won’t know that the moment she/he lays eyes on you and you’ll be more likely to get hired and have someplace for you and your friends to hang out.

2.

What you wear does matter. The girls in the juice bar had on what appeared to be a combination of favourite childhood nightwear and three-track-meets worth of dirty workout clothes. The ensembles appeared very comfy, but they didn’t call out “Responsible!”, “Committed to Performance!”, “On Time!” Instead, they called out: “Will Definitely Sleep In!”, “Don’t Give a Shit, Really!” and “Customers Can Get Lost Because I’d Rather Be Playing XBox.”

You don’t have to go all crazy and wear a suit, but neat and presentable goes a long way. Dropping off resumes is why dress slacks and simple blouses were invented, practically.

3.

Find out when the business is busiest. Don’t go and ask to speak to the manager at that time. In a restaurant, the busiest time is breakfast, lunch and dinner. In a juice bar, the busiest time is whenever there’s a lineup. Wait until the paying customers have cleared out before asking for a few minutes of the manager’s time. I have seen restaurant managers come close to having a stroke when job seekers come around at peak times. I have also seen many resumes on fancy paper tossed in the trash because they arrived at the wrong time.

I’ve got lots of other tips and tricks for anyone interested in a lifetime of overwork but I don’t want to give up all the good stuff at once. One of you might come along and take one of my jobs and we can’t be having that.

xo

Here is the cover for the Canadian Edition of my first novel for adults. Not, it’s not that kind of novel. It just features older characters than my other work. Don’t worry. They aren’t all dreary and mature.

Canadian cover for my new book!

Isn’t it terrific! I won’t tell you too much about it yet, but I will say that there’s a reason I’ve been featuring fancy chickens as my profile picture on facebook for almost two years.

xox

I would have been blogging like mad over the past week, but the pinched nerve in my neck has gone back into action and been doing bad things to my shoulder and arm. Mostly, it has been telling them that they are on fire, which is plain rude.

To all the pinched nerves out there, I say, Oh, shut up already.

Fortunately, I have borrowed one of those little TENs machines that administers  electo-shocks through little pads. I have all four attachments on and the machine is turned up as high as it will go. My muscles are twitching so fiercely that I can barely control my arm to type this. As a result of my low level electrocution, I can hardly feel the pain. Yes! Screw you, nerve! Take that!

Okay. I didn’t start this blog just to complain about my arm. I wanted to send a huge thanks to the fine people at the Vancouver Public Library for hosting my reading at the downtown branch last night. Thanks to Kidsbooks for being the official bookseller and the Vancouver International Writers’ Festival for being a sponsor. And most of all, thanks to everyone who came out and who laughed in the right places and who asked such great questions.

Thanks also to the superfabulous people at Kidsbooks for hosting me at lunch. I didn’t eat my bocconcini and tomato and pesto sandwich because I didn’t want to scare the staff with my pesto smeared teeth, but I enjoyed it and my cookie on the ferry ride home. I was supremely unconcerned that other travelers would see me looking like I had only six teeth. I figure they’re used to it. Traveling is tough business and not all about dental aesthetics.

Whoa. The TENs machine just kicked things up a notch. Battery surge! Ha. Screw you, nerve pain. Let’s see you compete with FOUR electroshock pads! Also, nerve, you should know that I’m going to see a neck chiropractor on Thursday and I bought a new monitor and wireless keyboard and am planning to buy a new office chair. I’ll fight you with electricity and ergonomics. Bad language, too, if necessary.

More thanks to CBC Radio’s Stephen Quinn from On the Coast and Fanny Keifer for interviewing me. I also had the chance to speak with Sheryl MacKay from North by Northwest. That interview should air soon.

And to the kids and parents I visited the week before last at Christianne’s Lyceum: you are the best of the best of the book clubs. Christianne and her Ravenous Readers made a cool Getting the Girl crossword puzzle, made up fantasy menus for Sherm and his posse, and asked tough but fair questions. In fact, they were so tough and smart that I may have them speak to my nerve.

Okay. I’ve probably forgotten about ten events and twenty people but I blame it on my nerve. My most sincere gratitude to everyone for making me feel welcome and for your interest in Nice Recovery and little Sherman. If you haven’t bought a copy of Nice Recovery yet, feel free to do so. Yes, it’s hardcover, but it’s  competitively priced! (And, to be quite honest, I’m saving up for a new nerve and could use the financial support. heh.)

Below is a picture of Susin Nielson, winner of the Red Maple, Caroline and moi at the Forest of Reading awards. I have another photo of Teresa Toten and I at a workshop we did together in Toronto, but I’ve misplaced it. Guess who I blame?

Until then.

xoxox

are Lauren Mechling and Laura Moser? Answer: Extremely cool! They are both fabulous writers and now they have teamed up again to write a new book. And this time, they’re taking the tech road!

I hope they won’t mind me reprinting a recent email: