Whew!
I am pleased to say that I have finally handed in the new novel about two young dressage riders. I have decided it is best described as “National Velvet” meets “Less Than Zero” by way of “Billy Elliot.” No, not really.
Now I can clear the decks to prepare for my next big challenge: my cameo appearance on Alice, I Think, the television series. Yes, it’s true. I’m going to make an appearance on the show. To prepare, I’ve been running my lines. Well, line actually. I play Customer Number Two and my line is:
“Yes you do.”
I can’t tell you the context because that would ruin the surprise. I can tell you, however, and with some confidence, that I think I’ve got it memorized.
I’ve tried delivering the line in a variety of ways. There’s the “Yes you do” that sounds disappointed and maybe a touch sad. There’s the peevish and ill-humoured “Yes you do”. Then there’s the “Yes you do” with the hint of a mysterious but spot-on accent. Oh yes. I’m deep in character as Customer Number Two. Probably when I get into the ferry line-up to go over to Vancouver tomorrow and the person in the ticket booth asks for my reservation number, I’ll just gaze sternly at her and say “Yes you do”.
When I first learned about the cameo (about ten days ago) I immediately made plans to lose ten pounds. You know, since the camera adds ten pounds, one needs to lose ten just to look normal. The plan was to lose one per day. How hard could that be? Unfortunately, I’ve managed to gain about five because running my line makes me hungry.
Tomorrow I go to visit the set. I’m looking forward to meeting the cast. I’ve seen photos of several of the cast members and they look perfect for their roles. One person I haven’t seen is the young woman playing Alice. That is sure to be a surreal meeting. I’ll provide full details when I return. I also promise not to go on and on about how all the actors have big heads and small bodies because I think we’ve all heard it before. I’m kind of hoping a few of the extras have big bodies and small heads, because then the ten pounds I have failed to lose won’t matter so much.
Wish me luck. I wonder if I’ll be allowed to take advantage of the catering truck? I mean, since I’m obviously not going to lose the ten pounds.
(Would it be presumptuous, I wonder, to ask for my own trailer?)