If you happen to be in the Nanaimo area and looking for some good, clean fun on Friday, January 25, considering coming down to Mon Petite Choux (101-120 Commercial St.) I will be giving a reading from Another Kind of Cowboy. Several other local authors will be reading from their books as well, names to be confirmed. This will take place from 7:00 p.m. until 9:00 p.m.
Now, you may be saying to yourself, “God, as IF I’m going to go to some literary reading. I can take a sleeping pill at home and doze on my comfy couch instead of nodding off in some cafe.” To you I say, have you TRIED the food at Mon Petite Choux? It’s awesome. Seriously. And I will endeavor to put some real feeling into my reading. I will emote, try to hit the back wall (or whatever it is they say in the theatre about speaking really loudly). I’ll chew up the scenery in Mon Petite Choux like you’ve never seen before.
You’ve been to poetry slams, right? Well, it will be like that, only with fewer drums and more conventional hairdos.
Like so:
IN THE BEGINNING!
I’ll bellow, wild-eyed.
THERE WAS DEL MAGNIFICO le NOIR.
Here I’ll pause for effect and let the silence go on long enough that people start to fidget with embarrassment and wish they were across the street at some other restaurant.
I’ll stare from face to face and suddenly point at some poor bastard who is just trying to eat a croissant and didn’t even know there would be literature at MPC.
If YOU didn’t know better
I’ll scream, still pointing at the Croissant Eater, who, in his agitation at being singled out, will cough up a fine spray of croissant crumbs and saliva on the person sitting next to him. Then he’ll start choking and have to be pounded on the back by a wait staff.
This will be my cue to start mouth breathing and jumping up and down on my toes and breathing hard, like Tom Cruise getting wound up in a Scientology promotional video.
And so on.
This, my friends, is just the merest soupcon of what you’ll get at Mon Petite Choux, Friday January 25.