but at least be funny about it.
File under: how did I miss this one?
I have a book crush on King Dork. I’m only 50-odd pages in, so things may sour. But as of now, it’s the real thing. Why? Well, there’s this:
“Oh, wait. I should mention that Catcher in the Rye is this book from the fifties. It’s every teacher’s favorite book. The main guy is kind of a misfit kid superhero named Holden Caulfield. For teachers, he is the ultimate guy, a real dreamboat. They love him to pieces. They all want to have sex with him and with the book’s author, too, and they’d probably even try to do it with the book itself if they could figure out a way to go about it. It changed their lives when they were young. As kids, they carried it with them everywhere they went. They solemnly resolved that, when they grew up, they would dedicate their lives to spreading The Word.
It’s kind of like a cult.
They live for making you read it. When you do read it you can feel them all standing behind you in a semicircle wearing black robes with hoods, holding candles. They’re chanting “Holden, Holden, Holden…” And they’re looking over your shoulder with these expectant smiles, wishing they were the ones discovering the earth-shattering joys of The Catcher in the Rye for the very first time.
Too late, man. I mean, I’ve been around the Catcher in the Rye block. I’ve been forced to read it like three hundred times, and don’t tell anyone but I think it sucks.”
Oh, Frank Portman of the Mr. T Experience. You have done me in two hundred times in fifty-odd pages. Oh, and apparently King Dork is being turned into a movie that will be released in 2011. Please let the film not be ruinous, the way the movie version of I Love You, Beth Cooper apparently is. I haven’t watched the Beth Cooper movie. I’m far too attached to the book.
