This is the first installment of the Rare Birds Advice Column, in which an assortment of Lucky Bitches* answer your questions.
Hi Bitches,
Me and my friends like to party but sometimes I think I like to party even more than they do. How am I supposed to know if I have a problem?
Do I or Don’t I?
Hi DIODI,
I can’t tell you if you have a problem or not, only you can decide that. What I can say is that if you are questioning your drinking there is a good chance that you DO have a problem.
From what I’ve experienced, social drinkers ie: ones who don’t live to party, don’t actually ask themselves if they have a drinking problem.
Good luck,
Ginger
Dear DIODI,
Maybe you are just going through an extreme party phase? Maybe you are chronically ill and are likely to die of alcohol poisoning in the middle of the night alone face down in a ditch somewhere?
The truth is only you can decide whether you have a problem or not.
However, like Ginger said, if you think you have a problem, you probably do. Think of it this way: if you started breaking out in a rash, you’d go see a professional before it got so bad you couldn’t leave the house. It’s the same thing with addiction. For the love of god, go see someone before you’re too hideous to leave the house!!!
Good luck,
Huck
Dear Bitches,
I don’t think I’m an alcoholic or anything because a lot of the time I only have a few drinks. But sometimes I get really wasted and black out. Should I be concerned? My mom is.
Should I Be Concerned?
Dear SIBC,
Black out drinking was my specialty! I drank that way from the very first time I got drunk. Then it changed to not knowing when I would black out: After the third drink? After the first?
All I know is that EVERY time I blacked out/drank I put myself in harm’s way. In other words, I would be doing/saying/acting/behaving in ways or situations that I would not have done if I was sober.
I always hated the morning-after-the-night-before flood of phone calls of my friends reporting what feats of deathly embarrassing crap I had done at the party/dance/concert/7-11.
So ended up on “high alert” and made those phone calls myself the next morning to try and throw my friends off the scent.
The fact that your mom is concerned actually concerns me. Please try one of the many questionnaires available online (links below) and answer them honestly.
When other people, friends, family, the guy at 7-11 start noticing and/or being concerned about your drinking that is a sign that perhaps there’s a problem.
Sincerely,
Ginger, Reformed Black Out Drinker Extraordinare
*Lucky Bitches is a social club composed of women of all ages who are clean and sober and unusually awesome. The club uniform consists of hats.
For Those Who Enjoy a Good Quiz (Also Known As Finally, A Test I Can Pass!)